Looping the Hen

Everwho?

Blech, what was up with Everwood tonight? For the last 2 years it has been one of the most consistently well-crafted shows on TV. Tonight, it felt like everyone was a caricature of themselves. Bright was too dopey, Amy too googly-eyed, Dr. Brown was too weenie, Dr. Abbott had too much meth. None of it clicked; both Amy and Hannah were way too sexified. (Yummy yes, but that's not what I watch Everwood for) It also feels like they closed off the triangle with Jake, Dr. Brown and Nena a little prematurely, there was a lot of tension left to be had.

And worst, the moment that Nena decided she loved Jake was almost a carbon copy of the finale of Gilmore Girls the prior season where Lauralei asked Luke to marry her. They were both going through some trauma and stress, and the two men both made strong statements about how much they loved the two ladies children. Poof, both Momma Gilmore and Nena just swoon. I really liked the scene with Lauralei, not so much the second time around.

If I had to take a guess, I would say they switched writers (maybe the ones from Gilmore Girls got moved?). I hope the rest of the season gets better.

12 For the Price of 5

I'm fairly obnoxious when it comes to finances (any acumen I have is hard-won after many many losses, but that story is for another time). As a purchasing supervisor, my job (and my department's) is to buy stuff for a living; and if we've done our jobs, we buy it cheap. I do my best to carry over some of those work philosophies to my personal life (and vice versa, as Mom is the one who really made me realize the importance of keeping good track of my money).

The problem is that it is the job of every marketing person everywhere to make me realize the importance of buying their product. And some of the best marketers ever work for BMG. You know, 12 CD's for the price of 1! Heck yeah, what a deal, if you are one of the 5% of the people who cancel immediately upon receipt of the 12th CD. It really is a deal, although not one that lives up to the advertising.

I'll try not to turn this into a bash BMG session, as I often manage to get free stuff from them. However, many people don't know just how badly BMG tries to screw them. Here's how the deal works (and more importantly, how to make it work for you):

You get their little flier in the mail with the little stickers and the big advertisement of 12 for the price of 1; or you go online to their wensite, which is pleasant and well-designed. You get to order 7 CD's straight off, and you then have to buy one in the next year, and they will give you 4 more. This is where the first part of the scam happens. As you are bopping along to some young hottie or another you tear open your next BMG packet and find a big fat bill for $20.79.

Whoa, you think, I haven't even bought my required CD yet! Well, the fine print tells you this is the shipping and handling for the first 7 'free' CD's at $2.97 each. Personally, this is reason #1 I have little respect for BMG.

(Continue reading)

One of the things I organize and buy for my job is fulfillment and distribution of parcels. (thousands of them weekly) The cost of the packaging and postage for a company BMG's size is in the neighborhood of $.15 per CD for packaging, and in the neighborhood of $.60 for postage. (in their onesy package) The fulfillment (distribution) cost runs probably another quarter. So for single CD shipments, BMG is out at most $1.00. For the 7 CD shipment, the total is probably in the neighborhood of $3.70. ($1.40 for handling, $.30 for packaging, and maybe $2.00 for shipping; the shipping cost depends on whether they use USPS or an expedited carrier) Thus, for what are actually shipping and handling costs of $4.00 at the high end, they have smacked you for over 20 bucks.

Still, 20 bucks for 7 cd's is good right? Yep, it sure is, and BMG wouldn't make any money selling $3 cd's, so do you think that's the end of it? Next comes the 1 CD you have to buy. That generally runs $17.98-$19.98, plus an additional $2.97 for shipping and handling. One CD in my in-basket at BMG currently is Anna Nalick's Wreck of the Day at $17.90. (total of 20.87 with shipping) That's funny, I saw the same thing at Amazon for $10.99.

Heck, at $10.99 I could buy CD's from Amazon, mark them up to $16 bucks, ship them for max $1.42 media mail rate (and I think I've done it for considerably less first class), and undercut BMG by more than 3 bucks while still making a $5 profit! (Or more precisely, around 45% gross margin, pretty good in most industries, and great in my industry) And anyone with no buying power can do it for this price (assuming they use Amazon's free shipping for orders over $25). I don't know anything about the music industry, but I would guess BMG gets them wholesale for more like $4-$6 (or less if it is one of their stable).

Still, everyone is in business to make money, so what their profit margin is is no nevermind to me...the misrepresentation of 12 for the price of 1 is, plus the excessive 'shipping and handling'. When all is said and done, your 12 CD's have actually cost $53.60 or more, or almost $4.50 per CD. If, and I say if, you cancel your membership at this point, you will have done pretty well for yourself. At Amazon I could probably get 5 equivalent CD's for the same price (or a little more). The problem is, BMG's business model is based on the fact that most people won't quit while they are ahead.

Many of you know what I am talking about. This last BMG episode of mine, I received the Killers Hot Fuss in the mail because I forgot to cancel that selection, and it is unlikely it will ever find its way out of the package. 10 years ago, I used to get 3 or 4 CD's before I managed to get them to close my account. At that time in my life, fighting over it was not something I wanted to spend my time on and I'd eventually fork over the $100 or so to the BMG collection folks. I must admit it is true that it is easier than it used to be to cancel your selections if you use their website. They also do all sorts of promotions like buy 1 get 2 'free' to keep you coming back. Of course, that is more marketing. (Your one cd in this case costs $26.73, and your average cost per cd is around 9 bucks)

Your best bet is to just pick a cd you want and cough up the $21, get your 4 free, and cancel your account. I go one step farther (further?) and sell back 5 or 6 CD's on Ebay to recoup the $53.60 I ponied up for my free CD's, and I keep the other 6 with a net of $0 out of my pocket.

The nice thing, the good folks at BMG send me a new packet 4-6 months after I cancel, and I get to do it again. If they actually had an open (and I almost want to use the term 'honest') business model, I would be more likely to patronize them regularly as I do Amazon. Charge me 10 bucks a CD, and I'll buy a whole slew. Charge me $53.60 a CD, and I have a problem trusting you.

But maybe that's just me.

I used to not like Britney...

But now I have this thing where anti-establishment lady musicians who love this country make me very happy.

You're allowed to say that?

Once upon a time, I wouldn't be caught dead listening to 'popular' music. Aerosmith, Guns and Roses, Whitesnake were all huge when I was in high school; being the rebel (*cough*) that I was, I hated anything that sold more than 100,000 copies. To be honest, I guess that is why my album collection was all of 30 strong, mostly Rush and Billy Joel (who was hugely popular yes, but not right then).

The 90's to me was the worst decade of music; even more bland and inane than the 70's. That could also be because I was so hopped up on girl-troubles and nicotine I hardly noticed the 10 years fly by. (But looking back, I didn't miss a heckuva lot)

Something happened to me in the last year or so though; I have developed an addiction to certain styles of music that are definitely not the usual me. Nowadays, if a singer is female, under 20, and worth a gajillion dollars (which is 3 more digits than a gazillion), I can't get enough. Avril, Clarkson, Maria Mena (*swoon*), Ciara, Digarmo, Pink. Add just a little touch of back beat like the Black-Eye Peas, Nina Sky, Beyonce (as well as 20 or more others I don't even know their names) and I am ready to make myself look foolish by attempting to dance.

I guess instead of looking for meaning in every little thing like I did in my coffee-house philosopher days, now I just like liking things. Music, TV, books - if they touch me, I like them; I leave the negative musical or literary analysis to others more qualified than I. Half the songs I love I don't even know the lyrics other than perhaps a line or two of the chorus.

(Read on at own risk, racy content ahead)

There is one other category of music in the pop section I have grown to grin at...they are usually performed by (most likely) oversexed guy bands who probably learned to sing just to get the girls. What I Go To School For, Geeks Get the Girls, and my newest favorite, Sugar, We're Going Down.

I generally decide to love these songs on rhythm alone, as I rarely understand what they are saying. I'm convinced that these bands construct their music with neuro-stealth technology and in such a way that parents (or old people like me) tune out whole songs completely, or just barely catch the happy snappy parts of the chorus. Once in a while, I will Google up some lyrics and I am often amazed at the content. I'm no prude, but sometimes I feel a little taboo like I'm sneaking a peek at the latest Vicky's Secret catalogue. Stuck in the middle of that last song and barely recognizable unless you know what he's saying:

Is this more than you bargained for yet
Oh don't mind me I'm watching you two from the closet
Wishing to be the friction in your jeans
Isn't it messed up how I'm just dying to be him
I'm just a notch in your bedpost
But you're just a line in a song
(Notch in your bedpost, but you're just a line in a song)

Holy sexified lyrics Batman! Wishing to be the friction in your jeans?!? Not sure what that means exactly, but none of the possible connotations are particularly comforting when the target age group for the song is under 16.

It's not like this is anything new for those of us who remember Frankie Goes to Hollywood or The Knack, but it's still interesting what bands can get away with without the explicit song warning on their records. Remember My Sharona? I used to listen to that song hundreds of times, mostly at the skating rink, but then on every flashback program ever played. And I probably didn't get the 'Oh My God, he just said what??' moment until I had been listening to the song for 15 years. I have bought that album several times because it is such a hoot, and many of the songs are far worse.

My advice to those who think 'I can't believe those kids listen to that' should give them a listen some time. My current favorite? Anyone I work with should be able to guess, and this song is more like the Frederick's catalog than Vicky's.

Mine might be worth 583 words, but still...

I need help! (Please move along, there is nothing new to see here...) I want to purchase a digital camera to include some live photos (err, yes that is a contradiction) here (and yes, I am working to get some of me up to scare away any prospective soul-mates! J/k, self-consciousness is not one of my many faults...)

I am looking in the $500-750 range, hopefully a decent zoom, and more importantly easy to use and get photos out of and into my PC. Something with a docking station as opposed to a USB setup would be best.

I ended up giving my brother my old digital that I spent a couple hunnert bucks on (and managed to take a grand total of 2 pictures on), due to being unable to easily get my pictures off. Of course, he has taken about a gajillion pictures on it and seems to have no problem (and he didn't even get the manual with it), makes me grouchy!

A friend bought himself a camera that cost more than all but one car I have ever owned (yes, that is literal); definitely not looking into the more than a grand range.

If anyone has any suggestions, preferably for a camera they have used, I would greatly appreciate an email!

I Remember When DOS Was Easy

Now I struggle with these here modern contraptions they call com-poo-ters nearly every day. I thought I was pretty slick last night to have managed to transfer my domain, get my email working, set up my blog, change it's style-sheet, and make a few posts.

This morning, I felt like I was Indiana Jones trying to figure out how to get the little Golden Monkey (was it a monkey?) off the pedastal at the beginning of the first movie. He brought a little bag of dirt to hopefully keep whatever trigger pressed down. Good idea, but it didn't work that well! I felt the same way: I had my bag of dirt, so why didn't everything just work!.

I have a pretty regular schedule...shower at 6:45, go downstairs and weigh myself, upstairs, get dressed. 7:05 and I get 15 or 20 minutes on the computer to feed and water my Neopet. This morning I let my poor Aerie go hungry so I could get into Movable Type and my site control panel.

Password not accepted
Password not accepted
Password not accepted

Crap! I have used the same basic 3 passwords for years (although one has always been ridiculously hard even 10 years ago before easy cracking). However, AQ Host who runs my site forced me to choose a password rivaling the Enigma codes. (Almost no joke, I thought this thing was going to want to do a retinal scan before it accepted a password I chose) But I was bright-like-sun and wrote it down! Too darn bad I couldn't remember my farging username!

Same thing on the Movable Type side...so I used the lovely 'recover password' feature. Too bad that my email stopped working sometime between 12pm and 7:05am. AAAARGH! (and not the good pirate kind of AAAARGH)

At least I would be able to admire my pretty color scheme...I have to admit without any modesty that the Chely Wright post complemented my new style-sheet exquisitely. It's too bad I couldn't get my site to pull up either. Double crap. 7:35 and I was determined to get my site working! Of course, this was before AQ Host informed me many hours later that it was some cache-thing or other on my local computer that was messing me up. So my fiddling only made things worse when I got to work and tried to pull it up there.

I get to work at 8:03 (first time I have arrived at work past 8 in almost 6 months). My bosses are ultra-flexible and probably wouldn't mention tardiness unless I strolled in at 9:17 three days in a row smelling of patchouli and tequila. Still, the guilt! 8:03!

There is a happy ending here somewhere though! I must admit the AQ Host folks have been super. I opened 4 or 5 seperate tickets for various and asundry things (that were mostly my ignorance of such arcane terms as /flushdns). I am still trying to get my email worked out, but I am confident they will help!

So all my once-quite-mighty DOS and Windows 95 skills (used mostly to get resource-intensive video games working) feel mostly useless to me. Nowadays, most things just work. ( Well, except for Freedom Force, which took about 6 hours of manhandling to get it to quit crashing me to desktop.) But still, most things!

Except for the coolest ones; the ones I am going to try to communicate with a couple billion people with. Except for the ones I am going to try to use to find Her. Ah, well, nothing to do then but soldier on and learn it.

Of Mice and Meg

Ok, now we get to why I need all the help I can get. I've determined I am a poor translator of the Female Language (shocker!). Either that, or I have a huge sign on my forehead that says 'Hey, I'm pathetic, if you are a girl please speak in 1 syllable words because I'm sans clue.'

So Boo #5 is my newest attraction; we'll call her Gemma. She is younger, attractive in the Jennifer Garner kind of way; outgoing, little makeup, nice tan, big smile, athletic, likes being the center of attention. Googling revealed what sounds like a fairly fun college career; big sorority, student government, political science major.

I dropped her a friendly email about a week back; the reply was the same, friendly, but with no hooks that I could discern to let me continue the conversation or move forward. So I let it drop, no biggee, figuring I didn't need to expend a lot of social capital on fighting a losing battle, and she is what some consider a bit too young for me (though I feel younger now than I did in my twenties!).

So here is the quandry I found myself in today (and to be honest, find myself in too often without a life-vest). We were in a minor social setting with about a dozen folks. I expected a polite hello, maybe a little smile (as I am guessing she had to know I was fishing in the prior week's email). Instead, she comes over to my side of the circle, laughs at a few of my jokes, and I then received the blow-by-blow of her date this weekend. She never used the term 'date', but she indicated she had a bruise on her due to whacking the guy's shoulder or some such, so I am guessing they were within sphere-of-contact. She said he was the first rednecky guy she had gone out with and mentioned a friend they visited with posessions that indicated that at least the friend of the guy was pretty well off. Plus some other minor details indicating a fairly eventful weekend.

Examining my mental Rosetta Stone, my possible interpretations for the previous are boiled down to these:
1) She was just being friendly, not realizing I am attracted to her and that I would rather have my fingernails removed with vice-grips than hear about her weekend water sports.
2) She does realize I am attracted to her, and is giving me the 'not in your wildest dreams buster, don't embarrass us both, I prefer Billy Ray over here.'
3) It is Girl-Code for 'Your move, can you top my last weekend?'

Knowing me, it is none of the above and there are seven layers of Pavlovian meaning in five minutes of conversation that I am blissfully unaware of.

Now, I have this silly habit of refusing to leave unsurity on the table, thus my current plan is to send her another email this week and avoid my horrible subtlety by point blank asking her to lunch or dinner or some such. Good idea? Bad idea? Any better ideas anyone out there has?

Help!

Democracy and Sexy #1

Chely makes me very happy, and I wanted her to help make sure I got my political framework out there.

America is my country and my home, and I love her. Like my family, who so often forgive me my foibles and failings, America offers me a future, no matter my past.

For those who defend our freedoms every day, whether soldier, sailor, airman or marine, you will always have people who respect your diligence and sacrifice, who pray for your safety, and mourn your fallen.

Style Monkey For the Save

There appears to be a great community of Movable Type Elves! This style courtesy Style Monkey. I'm not sure it's working 100%, as my calendar appears a little off, but it is beaucoup better than the fuzzy nightmare I was looking at prior. CSS and HTML are not as scary as they appear, and changing some random numbers around in the style sheet produces immediate (if unexpected!) results. I'll fiddle more on the morrow and with hope will have a final design by the weekend.

Take that evil Martha style! (Sorry Akbar!)

A Clue For the Clueless

If Movable Type is good enough for Glenn Reynolds, I have to believe it is good enough for me! However, I must say their documentation could, well, be better. I am about to have a brain tumor staring at this slate blue template. The video instructions pointed to buttons and menus that aren't there (or I, in a Hendrix-inspired kind of blue haze, have yet to find). I shall soldier on and hope to have this site looking like something not out of Martha Stewart's Blue Hades before anyone comes to visit!

Greetings and Salivations

So why am I here? As many who inhabit the ether with me and regularly devour news, comment, music, humor, we understand the medium is now part and parcel of our lives, ubiquitous in all its outlets. We are people who Google exes or potential girl/boyfriends before we even think about asking them out. Some of us buy intangible objects that exist nowhere but on Sony’s or Sierra’s or CCP’s servers. We make mix CD’s or playlists entirely of b-tracks no one has ever heard of.

Among all of those out here silently making their way through DSL or fiber or (eek!) copper, I believe there is a woman who is for me.

Maybe she is reading one of the dozens of sites devoted to determining whether the Verve Pipe’s Freshman is about abortion or suicide. Perhaps she is researching (for the fifth time) the difference between effect and affect or some other vagary Funk and Wagnall failed to teach us in middle school. It is possible she is feeding her Neopet Sluggo some bacon and spinach omelette. (Mine prefers Lime Jelly) Whatever she is doing, most likely she has no idea I exist, or how to find me.

However, I believe the Internet solves for those who are willing to help themselves.

So I will start this weblog (or online journal, for those keeping score at home), and over the course of however long, I will bare my soul, bit by tiny bit. I hope if and when she finds this site, she will read it and not be frightened away by whatever mental detritus has collected, and understand that all people have dark pieces of their souls. I choose to put mine forth to her (and you!) so there are no vicious surprises, no lurking secrets, and no hidden baggage.

I pledge that when she finds me, there is not a question she can put to me that I will not answer truthfully, so she can truly judge whether she is for me and I for her.

So if you are here and read through all the noise and determine I am not your soul mate, all I can do is ask that you refer a girlfriend, or a sister, or a co-worker here, on the off-chance I am Their soul mate.

I hope my site may hold some random interest for anyone who chooses to dwell here for a few moments. My areas of interest, and what you will find written about here, will eventually encompass politics, music, religion, video games, sex (and more importantly, Sexy!), family, managing money, my unfinished novel, rants, screeds, and what I want in a woman (and quite differently, what I need in a woman)

So grab a beverage, have a look around, perhaps email me and say hey. Constructive criticism of the site and its contents gladly read and responded to; unconstructive criticism will be calmly deleted with no hard feelings.