Looping the Hen

Unfocused

I'm not sure why my mp3.player keeps coughing up Abba, but so be it.

A quick look at the basic demographic data for Nashville forced me to nix the last item I was writing. I'm not really sure where I want to go with the whole dating-theory series. There are a lot of factors in play that I haven't put a lot of effort into dissecting. (or applying)

For example, for most of my twenties, I had a pretty large clique that I hung out with, and no one ever really went without a girlfriend if they didn't feel like it. There were probably 20 of us in the main group, with another 20-30 who spun in and out of our orbit. At least a third to half of the group was single at any particular time. Since I have moved to Nashville, I have not found (or to be honest, looked for) an equivalent group of folks to hang out with.

Currently I hang with a tiny group of strictly attached folks (other than one other single guy), and there are exactly 0 single females in our sphere. Most likely, due to my age, there aren't really any larger groups left of my demographic, as most 34 year old people in Nashville (and probably everywhere) are married, more concerned with career than socializing, or (for the ladies and a very few men) are single mothers just trying to make it through.

The last girl I dated in Kentucky (for those keeping score at home, she is the original Hen of the term LTH) was a single hard-working mom, and if I hadn't quite literally been dropped into her very tiny sphere of people (work), there is a good chance she would have continued her self-destructive quasi-relationship with her abusive ex-husband for quite a while longer; not out of any masochistic tendencies, but out of a lack of options. The worst part was, she was (and still is...though now married to a nice, if dull, guy) stunning, bright, funny and together; I had a hard time understanding her lack of suitors until I realized it wasn't her, it was her situation.

Same with me, most likely. I may not have a child to take care of, but I have many other things that keep me out of a whole big social scene. The largest of which are probably the pure effort involved and the very high level of contentment with my current life, as is. I know so many people who try to date because they feel like they are missing something; for me, when I seriously think about it, I want to date because I want to share my continual amusement at almost everything with someone capable of being just as amused. If that makes any sense.