Looping the Hen

God bless 'em. Err, I mean, I was out tonight, when I was accosted by horrid sexist bigotry of the worst kind, proof of the evil patriarchical misogynistic society all around me!

I play poker at Bailey's, a local sports bar, most Wednesday nights. It's free (for the poker), and I get to hang out with friends, enjoy some food and drink, and play some cards. It is usually a fairly quiet affair, with the loudest ruckus caused by the folks watching Tennessee play football or the Pred's playing hockey.

I was having a great day; it was perfect outside, with all remnants of winter barricaded in a back room somewhere, hidden at least until the party guests leave. I washed and vacuumed Luna out for the first time in ages, removing too many layers of grime. (Definitely time for a detailing) So I had the top down and Fall Out Boy blaring on the radio when I drove into the parking lot; it seemed very quiet and I zipped into a front-row parking spot, something akin to some factory workers in Nebraska winning $366 millions dollars. (oh, wait...)

I vaguely remembered earlier in the day that it was Ash Wednesday and the first day of Lent. As usual, I didn't plan on giving anything up; willpower is not one of my stronger suits.

I have to admit I thought I had mistimed Oktoberfest or something when I walked in, as all of the waitresses were dressed to the nines in mini-skirts, stockings and little hot-tops, and many had little pigtails. I'll bet the Hooters' girls down the street looked like amateur pole-dancers compared to the ladies at Bailey's tonight. The waitstaff on poker nights has always been unnaturally attractive, but tonight, well, I thought maybe some terrorist had killed some folks and he was going to cruise by to pick up his virgins.

To be honest, it was vaguely unsettling, as I have a little crush on the waitress that waits on us poker players. I'd never mention it, of course, as she has a nice guy waiting at home. She is sweet, funny, and normally she is lithely attractive; however, today she was 5 feet nothing of pheremone-inducing Lolita. I had to force myself to keep my gaze either over her head or on my food and drink. I heard at least one of the girls was uncomfortable in the outfit, but I'd bet dimes to dollars their tips tonight easily top $200 each.

It's a good thing I ended up going out early (on a horrible full house beat, with me holding 3 Aces), as I know my mind and eyes wander the later the evening gets.

Yes, it was a horrible insensitive sexist ploy to keep the guys drinking and buying. Of course it insults Catholic School Girls everywhere. Of course I am appalled, just appalled!

For some odd reason though...I find myself looking forward to next year. Maybe I'll have something to give up for 40 days by then.

(I just spent a fruitless 10 minutes trying to find a tasteful picture at Google Images to go with this post...but I'm not sure there is one, sorry!)