Looping the Hen

Danger Wil Robinson, Danger!

Okay, going through the ultimate scariness in a few minutes, and I am going to try to reinstall my OS, without a CD, off a 2nd drive. Yippee! So if you don't hear from me for about 9 weeks, you know what happened.

At least it wasn't crash related, so all my files and things are safe, just random Windows screwiness preventing me from getting anything done.

So anyway, here goes! Good luck to me!

Oh, and BTW, now I really know what Bethany thinks of me...

Sent by Lady M this afternoon:

Google Abusing it's Super Powers?

I've read some articles along this line for quite a while. If it ends up being true Googling will no longer be something I do.

They have too much power as a search tool to be sorting the news and search results by their biases (if they are indeed doing so).

In the Cards?

I have always wondered whether I could make a living at gaming. Once upon a time I used to think it would be by playing Magic the Gathering. Lately I wonder whether I could play poker. Usually I drop my $50 a month into my online poker account and rapidly lose it. This time it lasted the whole month (if I can go 3 more days!) and then some. I'm sitting at $227 due to my first good finish in a money (cheap money, but still money) tourney (2nd out of 188). As of this moment, counting all the times I have put in and cashed out, I am +$77 (yesterday I was around -$50).

Believe me, I understand that luck has much to do with poker, but I think being able to last long enough in a big tourney for it to work for you can make all the difference. I had 2 hands that made the tourney (well, it was over 300 hands long or more, but 2 that put me into a position to play and not get blinded out.) It was about 6 blind levels in (200/400) and my stack was sitting at around 2300 chips (everyone starts at 800), and I was about 5th stack and starting to get worried that the bigger stacks were going to start pushing me. A pair of kings let me push all in, and everyone folded but one (Ac Qs) and let me double up (to around 5600, as I got some blind money and early callers also). Unbelievably the next hand I was dealt Bullets (AA) and I got another all-in caller and ended up at over 13,000.

From there it was one of the more interesting experiences I've had playing poker. I've never been big stack in a large tourney, and I found that I could sit and wait for my hands or if I sensed weakness could buy the blinds (though I did that rarely, need to work on that part of my game). During one hand I called 3 or 4 all in callers one before the little blind with AQ offsuit. My archnemesis of the tourney (who I ended up losing to) triples the bet, and thinking he is just trying to push me out, I call. The flop comes AQ7 rainbow and when he pushes again I try to put him all in and he backs off. My two pair sticks and I am the overall chip leader for the next 20 minutes with over twice the chips as the next player (35,000).

At the intermission (play for 55 mins then 5 off), I found I had actually got into the money of my first big tourney. (19 players remained, money goes to top 20) I could have lost then and still been thrilled! I tightened up my game and grew my stack slowly by re-raising people trying to steal my blind. When we got to the final table I was alternating between 1st and 2nd stack against more than a few folks still holding on for dear life. We let them blind out and at 5 players left the table stabilized with me in 2nd. A few good plays later by the chip lead (the only player at the table playing tighter than me) and there were 3.

We played almost 100 hands between the 3 of us, trading blinds and pushing all in to steal them on occasion. To be honest, this is the weakest part of my game and always has been. I don't know what to do when there's just a couple players left; I kept hoping the big stack would take out the 3rd stack so I can make more money, but that is not to be. Luckily, we both hit a hand (finally!). It was pretty anti-climactic as I called his all-in queens with my pocket aces, and that put me back in the lead (temporarily).

I duked it out with the other guy for a good while, but he was just better than I was. When it became clear I was losing ground I called all in for $45000 with my 82 offsuit (trying to steal his blind). He calls with pocket 3's. An 8 fell on the flop and I thought I might actually take it, but he whacked me with a 3 on the river.

In the scheme of the universe $94 is not a lot to win, but it only cost me $2.50 to play, and after more than a few tourney losses gave me some hope I may have the instinct in me. I became comfortable enough with odds and playing fast that I started playing two tables last night also: one tourney table and one limit .50/1.00 table. Over 4 hours today I took $12 to 51 and yesterday went $12 to $43. (Those had been covering the bigger tourneys I was losing)

It may end up just being another one of my hobbies, but I've decided to put some effort into learning as best I can to play the game. I've bought a couple of books (Brusnon's Super System and Phil Gordon's Little Green Book) and Gordon's book so far has helped me be a little more aggressive, with some more unusual pot selection (easier in the limit game because you can't go 'all-in')

At worst I end up playing poker and making $20/day (Which is my 2006 goal for 'non-work' income) online. I am fairly certain I can do now if I just played Limit .50/1.00, and if I place in a tourney once in a while like tonight, more power to me!

Update: Not too bad, did another tourney, 220 peeps, and ended up in the money again (lol, that means I made 50c more than I paid in) at 22nd. Whee!

You never know...

For Bethany and Tammy. Maybe I really am him.

To Baby...Redux

Thanks for the comments on the last post folks. I was going to respond directly in the comments, but this has been a pretty big issue on my mind for a while, so I think it is worth another.

The parents certainly view things through a protective lens, and regardless of my 'perfect world of child-rearing', I might put the same pressures on myself to keep my kids safe.

However, I think one comment states pretty closely the more specific question I wanted to examine (Bethany's):

i agree that it WOULD be great to afford the next generation the freedoms we had as kids, but it is sadly and undeniably a different world today than the one we grew up in. (one filled with internet predators and tweener thrill killers,etc.)

The question is this, is it really a different world? Or one created by a sensational media.

I wish I had statistics all the way back to the seventies (And more recent data), but according to this crime rates against kids actually dropped against children between 1993 and 2000, more than half. But you'd never know it listening to the radio or watching TV.

My perception, and I would guess many others', is that with all the news coverage and media blitzing, it seems like the problem has steadily gotten worse. However, according to everything I have read in the last 10 years, it seems most crime numbers have fallen against those of the 70's and 80'. One might argue that it is 'parental overkill' that is causing these numbers to go down. However, there have been similar declines in crime against almost all segments of the population, so I doubt that is truly the answer.

Is it possible that it really is safer now than it was when I was growing up? If that is the case, it seems that we really are strangling our kids. Beth, you joke about GPS, but many parents are already using it on their dogs, let alone their kids. Shouldn't cell phones and GPS technology make us more apt to trust our kids alone, instead of less? Where is the line between realism and carelessness?

It sounds like some would think letting 9-year olds walk 3 miles home from school is 'carelessness', let alone bike-riding to another town to buy comic books. But how much of that is programmed by a society that believes that any number of incidents against children larger than 0 should lead to greater regulation of how we raise them? TN just passed laws mandating child seat use until 9 years old and 5 feet tall? Huh? I feel bad that Brett is going to have to buy his wife a booster seat! Where does the madness end?

I am not advocating total anarchy, but there needs to be a return to common sense. Smoking kills 300,000 people annually. Alcohol adds another 100,000. Driving not impaired accidents still kill 80,000. Poor diet and lifestyle kills hundreds of thousands more. (Some of these numbers are coming off the top of my head as I remember them, if anyone has the actuals I will plug them in). So why don't we change the things that kill large numbers of people instead of regulating those things that kill small numbers? It strikes me as societal hypocrisy.

I am sure it is easy to get elected and pass 'fuzzy' laws like making sure kids are in safety seats until they go to their junior prom, and perhaps save 10,000. But at what cost? I have to pay higher premiums on private insurance and Medicare taxes to compensate for those who choose to smoke or drink and then go to the doctor when they get sick. Why don't we mandate smoking as a crime and save 300,000 yearly? Why don't we ban automobiles that go over 55mph and save 100,000? I hate to sound clinical, but how is it the things that kill 1 or 20 or 100 or 500 people get the attention and effort? Why is it that we are paranoid about our children to such an extent that even after a 50% decline in crimes against them and we are more fervent than ever about protecting them because we are convinced the bogeyman is going to pick them up between here and the back yard?

These are Devil's Advocate questions, so please don't take this as an attack on anyone's parenting. Of course we want to protect our children. I have three beautiful nephews, a perfect niece and I am sure the most beautiful daughter that ever lived (that's another story) that I want to live long, healthy lives. I just wonder where we draw the line between too much and not enough?

To Baby or Not To Baby?

*Cough* I was going to post this, well, someday when I had it more thought through and some statistics, but I find myself prodded by folks who should instead be sewing wings or beer wench outfits or some such! Crazy world indeed!

I hear all the horror stories of kidnapped, killed, raped, abused and other harms that come to children left alone. Part of me wonders if the world is really that much worse than when I was growing up, or simply more aware due to our sensationalized media addiciton. Glenn Reynolds, the world's most popular (at least the most read) Libertarian, mentions that in TN, the State considers leaving a 9-year old alone is neglect. Although I know it is likely true in our era of Parenting Police, I find the notion preposterous, and a little sickening. The article offers a possible explanation for declining birth rates, while other writings of his explain the danger of negative population growth, such as exists in most of Europe today.

The concept of having children in such a world is so vastly different from the one I have envisioned for most of my adult years, it is causing me to rethink the whole idea. When I was nine, I was going to Pierson Middle School (4th/5th) in the sleepy little town I grew up in, population circa 9000. Unless I had to be home for some reason, or it was below -10F, I walked. It is around 3 miles home (I always thought it was more, but Google just corrected me), depending on the route. G-Max and I would often walk or bike to his house, which was only about a mile away, or head to the library to play chess or stratego for a couple of hours.

Between the hours of 3pm and 6pm on school days, my friends and I had near total freedom to do what we wanted. Sure, we spent thousands of hours in front of the TV, but we also spent it reading, wandering through Kenny's, (our random dollar type store) playing all sorts of games, fooling around in the back yard and the trails behind my house, and otherwise just generally being kids. On the weekends we even occasionally took bike rides to other towns around 9 or 10 miles away to buy comic books or to play video games at the Saybrook Bowling Alley.

Was I a little bit of a latchkey kid? Yes. Do I think my mom or dad neglected me? Nope. Thinking back and looking at the situation today, I honor Mom for respecting me enough to trust in my decisions as early as 8 or 9 years old. Do I want to be stuck to my children's every waking moment for 14 or 15 years before ever letting them be their own person? No, not even a little bit. I don't believe I would be the independent and self-reliant person I am had I not had the freedom when I was younger to learn to enjoy being by myself or with my friends without constant supervision.

If I do have children, I for one want them to understand independence and not need anything other than their own imaginations to be able to enjoy themselves. One of the statistics I had meant to look up was the number of grown men between 25 and 35 that are still living with their parents. If I recall, the number was something horrific, like a third or more.

Did I screw things up on occasion? Oh yes. The worst incident actually occurred when I was older (15 or 16 I think). (Using Lysol and a lighter to kill a bug on the window is not the brightest idea ever) But even though I had the freedom to screw up, I rarely did. When I was living with my father for my last two years of high school, I didn't really have a curfew. Why? Because I never abused the privilege and gave him a need to implement one. And I think that is the way it should be. To learn to be worthy of trust, one has to be trusted.

If I do have children, I hope I allow them as much freedom as mine did me. I hope I instill into them the characteristics that will make them worthy of it. And I hope our society moves away from the mentality that we have to be omnipresent in our kids lives, or at least filling it with all conceivable manner of extra-curricular activity. I used to wish I grew up in my father's time in, of all places, Plainfield, CT, another sleepy little town. TV was not an option. When I hear his stories about him and his brothers, and kids with names like Digger and Johnnie (Knight, actually), I am jealous of the life they had.

Shhhh....secrets ahead...

Dad, Tom, potential employers and anyone else with a weak stomach, please be warned you should probably skip this post. Ribald humor ahead thanks to the literary Lady MacBethany.

So silly me mentioned on Monday that he might have a secret or two to share with Tammy (On Friday when I saw her again). Of course, I did not realize that this would bring forth two dark women dressed in bishop's robes claiming to be part of the New Episcopalian Inquisition.

I told TL that I would always answer any question she put to me, so she has been working diligently to ask me a veritible cornucopia of off-beat questions that might be the answer to the elusive secret I keep so well. I think I have answered at least 70 questions in the last 48 hours ranging from the relatively benign (Are you germaphobic?) to the unsure (Are you still obsessed with the little redhead?) to the farfetched (Which I won't repeat because I really do want to work for the next 20 years, for those potential employers who might find their way here...I hope you think this is amusing and showing much creativity!)

Doing my best to answer all the questions completely honestly hasn't been satisfying for the 'Out, out, damn spot!' crowd, and thus the MamaB Conspiracies are born. So far we have nearly two score of possible skeletons in my closet...you decide which you believe! (Big hat tip to MamaB, she had me in hysterics with some of these)

1. you have 6 months to live, and you need to plant your seed to continue your lineage.

2. the real reason you run is if you slow down, the implanted bomb in your brain will explode.

3. you have a partially absorbed conjoined twin that tells you to do evil things.

4. the wee folk on your shelf do the same.

5. you see dead people.

6. you make dead people.

7. you are the one true prophet, and need to assemble an arsenal, seven wives, and a compound in texas by uesday.

8. there is no big secret, this was just an exercise to keep bethany busy because lord knows she gets a kick out of it and has nothing better to do God bless her.

9. one of your parents was an alien, and not just the illegal kind, and now the government wants to cut you open, film it in a seedy, grainy quality and post it on the internet (so they can laugh at all the wackos).

10. your blog contains some kind of mind control mechanism that makes hot chicks want to have sex with you, only the hot chicks are actually chickens, and who are you not to oblige them?

11. you are only dating tammy to get in the coffee loop.

12. you are only dating tammy to get closer to tarpy.

13. you are a writer for 24 and you won't tell us how it's going to end, you bastard.

14. you secretly watch lost, and are dying to share your opinions on the hatch and giddily discuss the last time sawyer had his shirt off.

15. lorin is your maiden name.

16. you downloaded instructions on how to make your own penis enlargerwith things you have around the house, and something went horribly awry (and you need a new vacuum cleaner).

17. you really are a certified bikini inspector.

18. you only like the creamy centers of oreos, and have a closet full of just the chocolate cookies.

19. you only like the chocolate cookies, and use the creamy filling to make sculptures of unicorns that you sell on ebay.

20. you don't like oreos at all, do you, you picky little freak?

21. tiny, whom you met while doing time at sing-sing for a crime you didn't commit, is getting out on monday, and he wants his b**** back.

22. you put the bang in the bang-sha-bang-sha-bang.

23. you put the "oooo" in petunia.

24. you won the lottery, but are ashamed to admit the pot was only up to 27 dollars.

25. the guy in the picture on your fridge isn't just a runner, he's the clone in a compound in tempe, arizona you paid millions for in case your ticker gives out. you call him justin case.

26. you are plagued by multiple personalities that include liberaci, alf, and a member of a mexican mariachi band (who all tell you to do evil and slightly gay things).

27. there's a part of your body that grows when you lie, but you aren't telling. (because that's not lying.)

28. before your current employment, you spent a large part of your day saying "b****, where's my money!"

29. you are dying to get off your chest the reason you are no longer allowed to set foot in an episcopalian church (and also a particular mexican supermarket in east bumf*** texas).

30. you have tapped into my dirty little secret-- it's fun to mess with tammy's head.

31. you really are the juggernaut, b****
!
32. you found jesus-- he was behind the couch the whole time! (okay, that one's not mine, but still funny, nonetheless.)

33. you have a gun, and will travel.

34. your OCD forces you to do the macarena (twice, once backwards) before entering or leaving the room.

35. you enjoy public displays of....yourself; particularly while on public transportation, or over by the convent....

Why I Run, Reason 1

On my refrigerator, I have the picture of the most beautiful woman and a pretty close to perfect guy. They were on the cover of an issue of Runner's World. (Yes, I searched diligently but could not find a cover gallery so I could put them up here, sorry...edit, until I tried Ebay). Underneath I have a little printed sign saying 'Why I Run, Reason 1'. To be more specific, it would be reasons one and two, but I'm not being picky.

Anyhow, I know I have a loooooong way to go before achieving anything close to being even the fittest I can be, let alone the level that sits on my refrigerator. Still, some days I receive small encouragements, and today was just such a day. As I was running at my park for the first time in 15 days (yes, I've been a slug, doing mostly indoor work due to the weather), a car with a couple of cute young missies in it drives by, honks and one yell's 'Nice body!' After I was done, I also got some looks for my car and a couple of admirers stopped and said how sweet they thought it was.

Overall much ego-building for the day, especially as I have backslid in both workouts and diet for about 3 weeks now. With hope it will give me some incentive to go back tomorrow and be less slug-like! Go me!

Deep, Dark, Pitch Black

Bethany's right, I get more blogging done when everyone leaves me alone! Or I just got home early tonight...last one!

A certain person I know has dark fetishes also...Look Tammy, your true love needs to grow up too! Keep your pants on!

Geekdom Update

For my D&D folks and the DDM folks, I know I haven't posted in a while on the gaming side. FYI, I am starting work on my DDM campaign. Go here for more details.

One of my other dark fetishes is Gilmore Girls...mmmm....

Drowning in the Hot Tub

I know how my best friend (G-Max), a Green Semi-Conservative with Liberal tendancies (Or semi-liberal with conservative tendancies) must have felt about politics for many years. When the Republicans completed their domination of the political branches in 2000 (although the Judicial is debatable), some believed (myself included) that we were entering the promised land of smaller government, more years of balanced budgets, and less of a bureaucratic nanny-state. When George W. and the Republican congress passed the tax cuts early in his first term, I was even more convinced we had a good thing going.

After 9/11, although many felt our civil liberties were being threatened with extinction, I felt I understood the need for the Patriot Act and some hard decisions about the War on Terror. The crazies on the left (and some on the right) raised the spectre of a fascist state under Bushitler and his Republinazi regime, but it never materialized. I agreed (and still do) with the mission in Iraq and the importance of establishing another democracy in the Middle East.

So as the years since W took office passed and we saw traditionally liberal big government programs such as No Child Left Behind and the Prescription Drug benefit pass as well as the retreat from Social Security reform and the fiasco of an immigration policy, I began down the long road of disillusionment. I guess it was shortly after 9/11 that I started reading blogs and discovered Glenn Reynolds. (Instapundit, see sidebar) Independent, polite, curious, and an avowed Libertarian, he helped me to the path.

The problem with being a Libertarian (or in my case, moderately Libertarian) is their lack of any sort of political clout. I believe the percentage of folks who might now be classed as Libertarian (even unintentionally) is large enough to warrant some listening to, if only we had the energy of the grassroots Libs and Cons, or even the Greens. (Anecdotally, discussions with most of my friends leads me to believe they are of the same bent, even though they are from varied backgrounds and geography.) I read this today, describing one possible explanation for our lack of focus.

I for one am almost ready to jump out of the hot tub.

In the past year or more, I have become so fed up with the establishment Republicans, I am most likely either going to support independents down the ticket or stay at home (the Libertarian ticket is generally loony). In the past few days, however, I have been reading some of the responses by more than a few folks, right and center, of the consequences of a protest vote.

Are they right? Is it too dangerous to have the loonies like Pelosi and Kennedy in charge? At this point, I am still undecided. It took Newt and the Contract With America for the Republican's to reassert themselves as a party. If we relegate them to the back seat for another 4 or 8 years, will they follow up with some more large ideas? Will we still be around for them to do so? I may do as the above article suggests, and send checks to folks like Tom Coburn, who looks to be one of the few with a set of nads to go with his values.

If the Democrat's retake one or both houses in 2006, at least then Bush may actually have to use his veto, instead of rubber-stamping every pork-laden bill that crosses his desk.

Gaming friends one didn't pick on...

My friends love to pick on me for my hobbies. Good-naturedly of course. Well, except in the case of those who feel my time would be better spent growing up *cough*...but enough of that!

Many years ago, I guess around 11 or 12 (may have been as early as '92), I met a couple folks playing cards at a little shop in Old Saybrook, Connecticut. (Magic the Gathering to be precise) Definitely not your picture of average gamers, as they both were as comfortable in a bar fight as at a gaming convention. If we could have figured out how they could do both, they probably would have.

Ed had (and by the looks of his Myspace, still has), a huge vocabulary of 4 letter words. Still, there are no people (except for maybe Eric) that I would rather have been with walking the streets of New York City at 2am (and we did that at least a dozen times or more). If they said 'I got your back', they meant it, come hell or high water.

Ed is a little older than I am while Rod a little younger. When I first went exploring Myspace, I noticed the dearth of folks over thirty, so I never thought to look for either there, though I have Googled them once in a while. Just on an off chance, I looked up one late last week, and through his friends list, found them both. They are both in Maryland doing well!

Meet Rod.

Meet Ed.

Good to see y'all again! I think I may relate the tale of the burning couch later...I bet Rod remembers that one!

It's a luau!

It's nice to see my new lady person venturing out on her own (well, it may be with Mama B's help, but still!;) wandering around out in the blogosphere! This is an interesting site miss T indirectly got me to. Some very funny 'toons for blogging geek's. (HT to Tammi and MB)

This one speaks to the power of the new medium, although I think my brain is drawn to what I think I see in the little picture. (Something to do with hula, though I am guessing it is an optical illusion!) We also had a little discussion about the gatekeeper and the keymaster, though I just got that (this is 20 minutes after my original post), doh!

Aaaargghhh!

Our bowling team for Junior Achievement. Yes, I am there in the back!

Our name was the Washbucklers (because our main fundraiser for the last 2 years has been a car wash), but only very few people knew what a Swashbuckler was. Sometimes I'm too subtle for my own good! But yes, we did win Best Costume.

There shalt be no picking up of thine date!

I think women have an irrational fear of letting me pick them at their homes to go out somewhere. We're talking Freudian levels of avoidance. Run away from Christine levels of visceral terror. Seriously, I am developing a complex. I haven't had an accident since I was 17. I haven't had a ticket since I was 27. I drive a hot convertible. I have comprehensive. I like to drive to out of the way places to pick them up, I'm like that.

Now, if it was a first date or something, I could understand meeting out so as to make sure I'm not some sort of random axe-murderer or a democrat or something, but I have gotten the same thing from ladies that I already know where they live, and have spent decent amounts of time with.

I really do understand the convenience issue. Yes, meeting in the middle is easier. Yes, it will save me gas for my 36mpg MR2 and some random minutes I already had planned into the trip. And yes, I would still prefer to pick them up. I guess I am old-fashioned like that. Apparently I...must...leave...1956... I don't know, I also always thought most girls loved to primp to the last minute and make the guy wait. It certainly makes it easier to kiss them goodnight on their doorstep. Little did I know!

Am I crazy? I don't have a lot of single friends so it's hard to know. If you're a guy, do you pick up a girl? If you're a girl, do you want to be picked up? Is that old-fashioned and politically incorrect nowadays?

T, not driving.

You want to go on a date? Are you crazy???

Me and my friends after three weeks of no game........(Hat tip to Rodney!)

Why I have the best friends ever...

I can't believe I missed this for 8 days, I'm such a bad person! You should have told me you were going to be a blogger!

I may meet some new people now and again missy, but I don't ever forget where I come from. Thank you for everything, you're one in a gazillion!

T, Flying.

The Measure of a Man

My friend AKBar put up this post on her blog; when I heard the story I had thought about posting about it myself, however I wasn't sure if I would have been disrespecting anyone, as I am friends with both her and her husband. Now that she has posted however, I will feel free and I think most could probably guess my reaction.

I am with AKBar completely; to be honest, there is no other position in this debate for me. There is no grey area. There is no empathy. The man is still married, and needs to grab his cojones and start acting like it, not dating, not 'looking at his options'. EIther that, or he needs to divorce his wife, which I would also find pretty horrid at this juncture.

From my understanding, other than AKBar no one has stood up and and said this is wrong. And not just wrong with a little w. Utterly, completely Wrong. And I find it shocking that she has to be the one taking a stand, when it should be his family smacking him upside the face and telling him to start taking his vows a little more seriously and that they are ashamed to be associated with him.

Growl.

Scruff N'Roll

I wasn't exactly sure how to spell that. It sounds like it should be an olympic sport or something. Heck, it's some kind of sport. Weird as it may sound, I think it might be possible to get jealous of a pony-tail holder. Err...

(Inside joke, sorry...no, I won't explain!;)

Night TL.

74 Minutes and Counting

I'm not sure blogging and having a social life are not mutually exclusive! It used to be ennui that sometimes prevented me from posting, now it's good, long, yummy meals, late-night phone calls and cute girls occupying my time.

In the past 2 years since I have had a cell phone, I have never used more than 240 minutes on my 500 minute plan. Not wanting to get a $500 phone bill, I checked my minutes today (my plan runs from the 23rd to the 22nd of each month), and I was at 426. Craptacular! So I switched to an 1100 minute plan, but of course that doesn't kick in until the 23rd. So if I only call people after 9pm (free nights and weekends!), you know why. I spent another 5 on the phone since I checked, so I am probably down to 69. Tic toc!

I was going to title this post 'Do you shave your arms?', but it didn't really have the same ring. (Plus I am in a hurry, have to be out of here in 10 and I didn't want to make Tammy cry again so soon!) ...To T's peeps, merci buckets for showing me a great evening. Although I might worry about y'all under a full moon and my lungs feel like I've been studying the new Mt. Saint Helen's rock formation, y'all are a'ight. I've listened to Punk Rock Girl at least 5 times since last night. (TBH, getting the Topless Mix and Tori was the sweetest thing any of a date's friends have ever done to make me feel welcome. Actually, I don't think I've ever had a date's friends even try to make me feel welcome! I've been trying to think of something mean to say to go along with the nice, but y'all were tops.)

Thanks!

Okay, it's official...

I have been informed how crappy I am sometimes by someone who I trust infinitely enough to tell me when I am being crappy (Leia). And well, she's right. It is officially not right to have someone crying after their 2nd or 3rd date. I kind of knew that, but she confirmed it. I'm not exactly sure when it becomes officially ok, but I would have to say that number is at least 10.

And so, I hereby state that I was officially crappy last night and should not have posted what I did...at the very least, not without thinking through what really bothered me so much for at least 24 hours.

So T, I'm sorry. I'm a big ole meaniebutt, and I hope you will forgive me.

"So when do you grow up?"

I guess it is only fitting with my theory of balance that the person who said the sweetest thing to me recently also said the not-so-sweetest. Personally, I didn't think anyone was going to be able to top 'We can still be friends' for at least 6 months.

So my Match.com girl and I were out tonight, and our original plans were cancelled due to construction or solar flare or something. We ended up instead eating a great, simple meal at Cheeseburger Charlie's at Green Hills, with much dead animal flesh, curded cow milk and fried potato product. We then went to Davis Kidd for coffee and book-browsing. (Wow, that's about as good a date as I can think of, and I bet half my friends think so too!) So we wandered through the sci-fi and fantasy section, me showing her what I like, her showing me what she likes, and we park ourselves on the little couch across from the D&D books. (You all can see where this is going right?)

So I try to start explaining D&D to her, and how it's played and the like, and she stops, looks me in the eye, and says the title of this post to me.

To be honest, it took my brain a few seconds to interpret and recognize what exactly was said to me. *Blink, blink* I didn't realize that I could still be sensitive to things like this, and I could feel all of the old defense mechanisms kick in. (Those who have played D&D since the 80's know what I am talking about) Heck, AKBar makes fun of me all the time about it. However, I think it was one of those things that comes from soooooo far out of the blue it is like a bucket of ice water being poured on one's privates.

Those who know me know that games in general, and D&D specifically, are almost beyond hobbies and extend into the 'integral part of life' category. And I am as likely to give them up as I am to pick up a pack of Marlboro's on the way home from work. (*knock on wood*)

Yes, I know she didn't mean anything by it, and I know she certainly didn't intend to offend me. She is very sweet and makes me laugh regularly. But yes, it still hurt my feelings, because it doesn't just say something about me, but about many of my friends also, and about the way I choose to live my life.

Unless she cancels on me after this post, we're going out Thursday, and I should be chill by then.

I think next time I'll just ask her to make fun of my car or something.

For those ladies needing advice on how to relate with gamers (generally a very sensitive group), please refer to this post.