Looping the Hen

She's truly made for me!

So my honey and I are out driving the other day on the interstate. We pass under one of those electric signs the states use to advertise Amber Alerts, traffic delays and the like. This day, it said 'Air Quality Alert-Take Fewer Trips'. Tammy looks at me and asks 'I've always wondered why they put those signs on the highway...what does taking fewer trips have to do with pollen count?'

It's Real in Its Own Way Honey

Waking up two weekends ago, I did my morning Saturday ritual: put on the coffee, check Ebay, walk around like a zombie, and feed Gruffleen. Gruff-who? That's what my lovely girlfriend (two months today!) asked me, right before she hit me with another WDYGU moment. Gruffleen is of course my Neopet, and this time the question was more 'Don't you want to spend time in the real world?'

Which of course to the tens of millions of us whose lives are spent on cellphones, working on laptops, listening to their Ipods, or watching 24 and Survivor, is beside the point. The two worlds are fused to a great extent, and inseparable. However, I thought it especially interesting as I regularly work out, run, spend time with friends, among other 'live' activities which will soon include skydiving and travelling. She felt that feeding a computerized pet was crazy, or something. I guess she has never had a Nintendog or even a pet rock.

I also thought this ironic coming from a woman who spends more time watching 24 and reading fantasy novels in a month than I do playing Neopets in a year. Escapism is escapism, no matter which poison, be it hemlock, arsenic or poisonous lollypops, one chooses. Heck, it is even big business, which several of my posts here about selling online currency supports.

So who here thinks the real world is better? Even us nerds and geeks would probably attest the real world is pretty cool, and no one I know is addicted to virtual anything. However, I would contend that our fusion of reality and 'unreality' is better than a limited existence in the corporeal world. Online I can entertain myself, learn, read, write, earn money, buy groceries, sell real world commodities, buy virtual world commodities, fight orcs, cast spells, fly enormous starships, and literally limitless other things. I would suggest access to extraordinary things is more readily available in the ether of the Internet.

Jumping out of a plane will be great, but for a 5-minute experience I will spend 8 hours driving and 2 hours training. Yes, I think it's worth it, but those type of events certaintly don't fall into place all the time, or even much of the time. And yes, I also value the 'everyday' experiences of walks in the parks, supper at the dinner table, and kissing my Honey. However, at this point, I would have a hard time giving up either aspect of my life, and I suspect much of America, Japan, and Europe feels the same.

Summer 2006 – Fireworks, Gravity Test, Girlfriend

This summer looks to be one of the more interesting of my life! July 3 I will take my life in my hands and jump out of an airplane with a friend of mine. (And y’all thought I was kidding!). It’s a little scary, a lot exciting, though those emotions may reverse roles by the time I reach the plane. It’s going to be a tandem jump, meaning an instructor will actually be the one with the parachute and the jumpees don’t really have any responsibilities other than to fall, scream and land. Mom, you didn't hear this!

At the beginning of August G-Max I will be going to Vancouver for a week. It will be my first out of country trip, so it is also very exciting. They have a fireworks display contest that I am very much looking forward to, and we should be able to make it to two shows.

I’d also like to make it a point to run a road race in every country I visit, but the only one I can find on the dates I am there is 10k (6.1 miles, my normal races are half that), so I’ll make sure to bring a copy of Chariot’s of Fire to get me all the way through. Gibb and Serira, it looks like I will be coming into and leaving out of Seattle, so if y’all’d like to catch a drink or dinner on August 1, let me know!

I must also brag on my newly acquired Girlfriend, one of only two to ever not make me completely insane (yet? JK Hunny!). Yay! Although I must say, I think she makes me ditzy instead. I know G-Max has mentioned my legendary forgetfulness and lack of common sense here, but it mostly went away when I moved to TN. In the 2 months or so since Tammy and I have been dating, I feel like I have reverted to the old days.

Last weekend while trying to open a movie I stabbed myself with a steak knife and almost needed stitches. Mucho blood and unpleasantness. We were at the park (yes, that park) a few days later and I had just finished my run and was catching up to Tammy. I keep my car key in my inner pocket of my running shorts so I don’t lose it. Well, by the time I caught up with her I was thinking, crap, where is my key? So we start walking back the way I had run from, looking on the ground for my key. We got about a quarter of a mile and my brain was trying to tell me something, because I swore I remembered feeling my key on my run. Seems I got distracted as I was getting my key out and had dropped it in my shorts, where it was settled snugly. Ugg.

The absolute worst happened this past weekend. So I was taking a shower and umm, something (someone?) seemed to distract me. When we got out of the shower I noticed it wasn’t draining, and figured someone’s much longer hair than mine had clogged it. I had some Drano handy and poured it all in, and it didn’t work. Uh oh, I thought, bad clog, definitely not my fault! This was the day of the big Poker Tourney’s I mentioned last week, so I figured I would go out after them if I needed to. Figuring I didn’t want to take any chances, I went to Lowe’s and picked up both a plunger and a pipe snake. After over 2 hours of fiddling with both, still no dice. Part of me was thinking of a big man with a crack in my bathroom charging me $200 to fix my plumbing. I go out again to Walmart and pick up 3 different kinds of Drano stuff. Nothing could survive the upcoming barrage of flesh-eating base I was about to pour down my drain!

So I pour a big ole 64oz bottle of generic Drano in and go back to play some more poker while it works, hoping the fumes don't make it to my bedroom and render me unconscious. Two more hours go by and nothing. I was about to crack open a 2nd bottle while I was staring in dismay at my tub, the plunger, empty bottles, and my pipe snake. And something clicked, and ghastly I turned toward the faucet (Ode to G-Max). Sure enough, my drain thing was closed. I am the Stupidest. Person. Ever. Of course the drain opener stuff had carved little black holes into my beautiful stainless steel. Ugg. And ugg again I tell you! Tammy, I’d like my brain back any time now, thanks!

Anyhoo, this has gone way too long! Other minor things going on include a Little People Pre-release on July 1, and my first race of the summer on Independence Day, where I will try to help motivate a friend into finishing her first race. (Spy) Other than that, I was just thinking of streaking through the park.

Shhhh....secrets ahead...

Dad, Tom, potential employers and anyone else with a weak stomach, please be warned you should probably skip this post. Ribald humor ahead thanks to the literary Lady MacBethany.

So silly me mentioned on Monday that he might have a secret or two to share with Tammy (On Friday when I saw her again). Of course, I did not realize that this would bring forth two dark women dressed in bishop's robes claiming to be part of the New Episcopalian Inquisition.

I told TL that I would always answer any question she put to me, so she has been working diligently to ask me a veritible cornucopia of off-beat questions that might be the answer to the elusive secret I keep so well. I think I have answered at least 70 questions in the last 48 hours ranging from the relatively benign (Are you germaphobic?) to the unsure (Are you still obsessed with the little redhead?) to the farfetched (Which I won't repeat because I really do want to work for the next 20 years, for those potential employers who might find their way here...I hope you think this is amusing and showing much creativity!)

Doing my best to answer all the questions completely honestly hasn't been satisfying for the 'Out, out, damn spot!' crowd, and thus the MamaB Conspiracies are born. So far we have nearly two score of possible skeletons in my closet...you decide which you believe! (Big hat tip to MamaB, she had me in hysterics with some of these)

1. you have 6 months to live, and you need to plant your seed to continue your lineage.

2. the real reason you run is if you slow down, the implanted bomb in your brain will explode.

3. you have a partially absorbed conjoined twin that tells you to do evil things.

4. the wee folk on your shelf do the same.

5. you see dead people.

6. you make dead people.

7. you are the one true prophet, and need to assemble an arsenal, seven wives, and a compound in texas by uesday.

8. there is no big secret, this was just an exercise to keep bethany busy because lord knows she gets a kick out of it and has nothing better to do God bless her.

9. one of your parents was an alien, and not just the illegal kind, and now the government wants to cut you open, film it in a seedy, grainy quality and post it on the internet (so they can laugh at all the wackos).

10. your blog contains some kind of mind control mechanism that makes hot chicks want to have sex with you, only the hot chicks are actually chickens, and who are you not to oblige them?

11. you are only dating tammy to get in the coffee loop.

12. you are only dating tammy to get closer to tarpy.

13. you are a writer for 24 and you won't tell us how it's going to end, you bastard.

14. you secretly watch lost, and are dying to share your opinions on the hatch and giddily discuss the last time sawyer had his shirt off.

15. lorin is your maiden name.

16. you downloaded instructions on how to make your own penis enlargerwith things you have around the house, and something went horribly awry (and you need a new vacuum cleaner).

17. you really are a certified bikini inspector.

18. you only like the creamy centers of oreos, and have a closet full of just the chocolate cookies.

19. you only like the chocolate cookies, and use the creamy filling to make sculptures of unicorns that you sell on ebay.

20. you don't like oreos at all, do you, you picky little freak?

21. tiny, whom you met while doing time at sing-sing for a crime you didn't commit, is getting out on monday, and he wants his b**** back.

22. you put the bang in the bang-sha-bang-sha-bang.

23. you put the "oooo" in petunia.

24. you won the lottery, but are ashamed to admit the pot was only up to 27 dollars.

25. the guy in the picture on your fridge isn't just a runner, he's the clone in a compound in tempe, arizona you paid millions for in case your ticker gives out. you call him justin case.

26. you are plagued by multiple personalities that include liberaci, alf, and a member of a mexican mariachi band (who all tell you to do evil and slightly gay things).

27. there's a part of your body that grows when you lie, but you aren't telling. (because that's not lying.)

28. before your current employment, you spent a large part of your day saying "b****, where's my money!"

29. you are dying to get off your chest the reason you are no longer allowed to set foot in an episcopalian church (and also a particular mexican supermarket in east bumf*** texas).

30. you have tapped into my dirty little secret-- it's fun to mess with tammy's head.

31. you really are the juggernaut, b****
!
32. you found jesus-- he was behind the couch the whole time! (okay, that one's not mine, but still funny, nonetheless.)

33. you have a gun, and will travel.

34. your OCD forces you to do the macarena (twice, once backwards) before entering or leaving the room.

35. you enjoy public displays of....yourself; particularly while on public transportation, or over by the convent....

Deep, Dark, Pitch Black

Bethany's right, I get more blogging done when everyone leaves me alone! Or I just got home early tonight...last one!

A certain person I know has dark fetishes also...Look Tammy, your true love needs to grow up too! Keep your pants on!

It's a luau!

It's nice to see my new lady person venturing out on her own (well, it may be with Mama B's help, but still!;) wandering around out in the blogosphere! This is an interesting site miss T indirectly got me to. Some very funny 'toons for blogging geek's. (HT to Tammi and MB)

This one speaks to the power of the new medium, although I think my brain is drawn to what I think I see in the little picture. (Something to do with hula, though I am guessing it is an optical illusion!) We also had a little discussion about the gatekeeper and the keymaster, though I just got that (this is 20 minutes after my original post), doh!

There shalt be no picking up of thine date!

I think women have an irrational fear of letting me pick them at their homes to go out somewhere. We're talking Freudian levels of avoidance. Run away from Christine levels of visceral terror. Seriously, I am developing a complex. I haven't had an accident since I was 17. I haven't had a ticket since I was 27. I drive a hot convertible. I have comprehensive. I like to drive to out of the way places to pick them up, I'm like that.

Now, if it was a first date or something, I could understand meeting out so as to make sure I'm not some sort of random axe-murderer or a democrat or something, but I have gotten the same thing from ladies that I already know where they live, and have spent decent amounts of time with.

I really do understand the convenience issue. Yes, meeting in the middle is easier. Yes, it will save me gas for my 36mpg MR2 and some random minutes I already had planned into the trip. And yes, I would still prefer to pick them up. I guess I am old-fashioned like that. Apparently I...must...leave...1956... I don't know, I also always thought most girls loved to primp to the last minute and make the guy wait. It certainly makes it easier to kiss them goodnight on their doorstep. Little did I know!

Am I crazy? I don't have a lot of single friends so it's hard to know. If you're a guy, do you pick up a girl? If you're a girl, do you want to be picked up? Is that old-fashioned and politically incorrect nowadays?

T, not driving.

Scruff N'Roll

I wasn't exactly sure how to spell that. It sounds like it should be an olympic sport or something. Heck, it's some kind of sport. Weird as it may sound, I think it might be possible to get jealous of a pony-tail holder. Err...

(Inside joke, sorry...no, I won't explain!;)

Night TL.

74 Minutes and Counting

I'm not sure blogging and having a social life are not mutually exclusive! It used to be ennui that sometimes prevented me from posting, now it's good, long, yummy meals, late-night phone calls and cute girls occupying my time.

In the past 2 years since I have had a cell phone, I have never used more than 240 minutes on my 500 minute plan. Not wanting to get a $500 phone bill, I checked my minutes today (my plan runs from the 23rd to the 22nd of each month), and I was at 426. Craptacular! So I switched to an 1100 minute plan, but of course that doesn't kick in until the 23rd. So if I only call people after 9pm (free nights and weekends!), you know why. I spent another 5 on the phone since I checked, so I am probably down to 69. Tic toc!

I was going to title this post 'Do you shave your arms?', but it didn't really have the same ring. (Plus I am in a hurry, have to be out of here in 10 and I didn't want to make Tammy cry again so soon!) ...To T's peeps, merci buckets for showing me a great evening. Although I might worry about y'all under a full moon and my lungs feel like I've been studying the new Mt. Saint Helen's rock formation, y'all are a'ight. I've listened to Punk Rock Girl at least 5 times since last night. (TBH, getting the Topless Mix and Tori was the sweetest thing any of a date's friends have ever done to make me feel welcome. Actually, I don't think I've ever had a date's friends even try to make me feel welcome! I've been trying to think of something mean to say to go along with the nice, but y'all were tops.)

Thanks!

Okay, it's official...

I have been informed how crappy I am sometimes by someone who I trust infinitely enough to tell me when I am being crappy (Leia). And well, she's right. It is officially not right to have someone crying after their 2nd or 3rd date. I kind of knew that, but she confirmed it. I'm not exactly sure when it becomes officially ok, but I would have to say that number is at least 10.

And so, I hereby state that I was officially crappy last night and should not have posted what I did...at the very least, not without thinking through what really bothered me so much for at least 24 hours.

So T, I'm sorry. I'm a big ole meaniebutt, and I hope you will forgive me.

"So when do you grow up?"

I guess it is only fitting with my theory of balance that the person who said the sweetest thing to me recently also said the not-so-sweetest. Personally, I didn't think anyone was going to be able to top 'We can still be friends' for at least 6 months.

So my Match.com girl and I were out tonight, and our original plans were cancelled due to construction or solar flare or something. We ended up instead eating a great, simple meal at Cheeseburger Charlie's at Green Hills, with much dead animal flesh, curded cow milk and fried potato product. We then went to Davis Kidd for coffee and book-browsing. (Wow, that's about as good a date as I can think of, and I bet half my friends think so too!) So we wandered through the sci-fi and fantasy section, me showing her what I like, her showing me what she likes, and we park ourselves on the little couch across from the D&D books. (You all can see where this is going right?)

So I try to start explaining D&D to her, and how it's played and the like, and she stops, looks me in the eye, and says the title of this post to me.

To be honest, it took my brain a few seconds to interpret and recognize what exactly was said to me. *Blink, blink* I didn't realize that I could still be sensitive to things like this, and I could feel all of the old defense mechanisms kick in. (Those who have played D&D since the 80's know what I am talking about) Heck, AKBar makes fun of me all the time about it. However, I think it was one of those things that comes from soooooo far out of the blue it is like a bucket of ice water being poured on one's privates.

Those who know me know that games in general, and D&D specifically, are almost beyond hobbies and extend into the 'integral part of life' category. And I am as likely to give them up as I am to pick up a pack of Marlboro's on the way home from work. (*knock on wood*)

Yes, I know she didn't mean anything by it, and I know she certainly didn't intend to offend me. She is very sweet and makes me laugh regularly. But yes, it still hurt my feelings, because it doesn't just say something about me, but about many of my friends also, and about the way I choose to live my life.

Unless she cancels on me after this post, we're going out Thursday, and I should be chill by then.

I think next time I'll just ask her to make fun of my car or something.

For those ladies needing advice on how to relate with gamers (generally a very sensitive group), please refer to this post.

"You were at the top of the list..."

A compliment stated off-hand as fact has to be the most sincere form, and can take even my normally skeptical nature off-guard. So thank you ma'am; no matter what happens, I'll never forget it.

For my crew: I didn't make a mess with my food. I did the thing with the fork and it worked out pretty well. I mostly didn't talk with my mouth full. We both wore brown (hahahahaha, I rule!), and I don't think she was worrying about whether my shoes were brown or black. I didn't trip or otherwise make a random fool of myself (yay, me!). She says just as many random things as I do! And she digs Tori (sorry Bebop; and more on that in the next post!). It was also reassuring to hear that her friends put her through as much pre-date silliness as mine did (Actually, sounds like she had a couple more hoops to go through than I did!). To all of my friends: thank you for that and everything else, you're the bomb-bigidies and you always keep me laughing!

To Tammy's friends: I told her I wouldn't have had any problems with any of y'all showing up in the middle to make sure I wasn't an axe murderer. To be honest, I was kind of surprised you didn't until she told me she wouldn't tell anyone where we'd be.;)

More to come, but bed for now.

Feast or Famine

I must say that life has certainly gotten interesting in the last 45 days. I went from being dateless for 6 years to...well...not being dateless (even if a couple have been non-date dates). First, a former lover from the past showed up for a little while and that was definitely flattering and head-swelling, considering we had a pretty horrid breakup (meaning I was a major heel).

Next, I started crushing pretty hard on a beautiful Iranian girl that began to hang in our circle, and she went out with another one of the boys in the group a couple of times. Of course that was the one from about 4 posts down where I crashed and burned. (Honestly, it wasn't that bad, but I did get the "WCSBF" speech. The funny part is that she is the first person to ever say that to me that I like being friends with, so that is working out pretty well.)

Now, while that was going on I got a nice note from a girl on Match, which as those of you who have hung out here know has been terrible to me. On the day I actually signed on to cancel it, she winked at me, we traded a couple of emails, and are going out to dinner Thursday night. We talked for about an hour or so last night and she's a hoot. This is her Match profile. (And yes, I asked her if it was alright to blog about her.) She actually grew up in Plainfield, CT, where I lived when I was going to UConn and where my father grew up. Small world!

And she is the 2nd girl in a row with a small cute dog! I hope that is not a bad sign!

If the whole summer goes like this I'll be psyched!

Go me!

My Ideal Girlfriend, Take 1

Thanks to G-Max for turning me back on to the Dork Tower strip. I've been reading and laughing through some backlog and found this...even AKBar couldn't have done it better...:

So much for fate...;)

Pride goeth before the fall.

Khabeli Nadahreh (I hope that says: You are welcome!)

'Gotcha' was one of the best geek movies of the 80's and I know G-Max and I must have watched it 10 or 20 times when we were growing up. One of the best exchanges:

Jonathan: Oh, Dad, I'm sorry. It was in my backpack when I jumped into the moat.

Maria: You, uh, jumped into a moat?

Al: You jumped in a moat with my Nikon?

Jonathan: Yeah, I'm sorry, I didn't mean to, I had to... I... it's kind of a long story.

Al: I've got all night.

Also good was: 'Jonathan: You're right, I'm on drugs. I'm a junkie, you know, I mainline, I freebase, I put cocaine on my cornflakes...'

And 'mamnoon' as well. Of course I don't know what the above says, I'm only hoping it says what I think it says.

Okay, off to my race! Bonne chance to me!

I'm not quite there yet...

I hope he wore kneepads!

Yes, I am a geek. So what do you think?

This is more for design perspective as opposed to verbiage. What do you think of the colors and setup of the card? (The Copyright watermark won't be on the card)

I checked the quote on this card, and for 500 cards runs about $40.00. I must say for a full color, two-sided card, that's pretty good for a random website and no discounts.

Update: I think 'curious' is out; I received several, umm, interesting comments about what people may think that means today. I will probably replace with clever.

Need brains and wit greater than mine

I'm about to go into crazy housecleaning mode for the next couple of hours (while watching the game, Titans currently up 10-7), but I wanted to get this up before I do.

I am going to create personal cards this week, similar to business cards, but to be able to hand to random people as an icebreaker of sorts. It will include name, phone #, email address and the like; I also want to include some interesting or amusing tagline to go with it.

Rachel Lucas was the first blogger I ever read, though sadly she is no longer doing so. However, I have always remembered her tagline. Although she changed it every once in a while, it used to be 'Picquance. Impudence. Ordnance.' I always liked the ryhthm of it and am looking for something similar for my cards.

Since I am not very poetic, I hope someone can help me come up with something catchy/silly/unique to match my personality. For example, my first cut is 'Capricorn, curious, convertible,' or something. I definitely want to fit 'convertible' in there somewhere if I can. It doesn't have to be exactly in that format or rhythm, so something like 'Off-kilter in a convertible,' would also be acceptable.

If I use something someone provides, they will win a random movie or three out of my dwindling vhs collection. (Yes, I'm so generous!)

My email here.

Unfocused

I'm not sure why my mp3.player keeps coughing up Abba, but so be it.

A quick look at the basic demographic data for Nashville forced me to nix the last item I was writing. I'm not really sure where I want to go with the whole dating-theory series. There are a lot of factors in play that I haven't put a lot of effort into dissecting. (or applying)

For example, for most of my twenties, I had a pretty large clique that I hung out with, and no one ever really went without a girlfriend if they didn't feel like it. There were probably 20 of us in the main group, with another 20-30 who spun in and out of our orbit. At least a third to half of the group was single at any particular time. Since I have moved to Nashville, I have not found (or to be honest, looked for) an equivalent group of folks to hang out with.

Currently I hang with a tiny group of strictly attached folks (other than one other single guy), and there are exactly 0 single females in our sphere. Most likely, due to my age, there aren't really any larger groups left of my demographic, as most 34 year old people in Nashville (and probably everywhere) are married, more concerned with career than socializing, or (for the ladies and a very few men) are single mothers just trying to make it through.

The last girl I dated in Kentucky (for those keeping score at home, she is the original Hen of the term LTH) was a single hard-working mom, and if I hadn't quite literally been dropped into her very tiny sphere of people (work), there is a good chance she would have continued her self-destructive quasi-relationship with her abusive ex-husband for quite a while longer; not out of any masochistic tendencies, but out of a lack of options. The worst part was, she was (and still is...though now married to a nice, if dull, guy) stunning, bright, funny and together; I had a hard time understanding her lack of suitors until I realized it wasn't her, it was her situation.

Same with me, most likely. I may not have a child to take care of, but I have many other things that keep me out of a whole big social scene. The largest of which are probably the pure effort involved and the very high level of contentment with my current life, as is. I know so many people who try to date because they feel like they are missing something; for me, when I seriously think about it, I want to date because I want to share my continual amusement at almost everything with someone capable of being just as amused. If that makes any sense.

She may try...

Per Serira's comment (and sage advice), one of my favorite songs:

Montgomery Gentry
She Couldn't Change Me
Written by - Chris Knight & Gary Nicholson

Sometimes I think what turned her on
Was my old broke down boots
She wanted her a real cowboy
It was a phase she was goin' through

Not one week after she moved in
I caught her paintin' the bedroom blue
Brought home a bottle of pink chablis
Poured out my best home brew

I was sittin' on the porch in my overalls
As she packed her things to leave
She changed her mind when she couldn't change me

She changed direction - Headed out west
She changed her tune to some hip-hop mess
Her dark brown hair went to blonde
And her pretty blue eyes went to green
She changed everything when she couldn't change me

She was sittin' beside the ocean
Lookin' out at the waves
Watchin' how they keep on rollin'
They always seem the same

She called and said she'd been thinkin' about
All those quiet country nights
And whatever she thought was so wrong with me
Suddenly seemed alright

I was sittin' on the porch in my overalls
When her truck came into view
She said, "I changed my mind when I couldn't change you"

She changed direction - Headed back home
She changed her tune - It's all Haggard and Jones
Had her dark brown hair pulled back
And the bluest eyes you ever seen
She changed her mind when she couldn't change me

She changed direction - She's back in my arms
She thought it through - Had a change of heart
She said, "I guess when you love someone you just gotta let it be"
She changed her mind when she couldn't change me
Yeah, yeah...

She changed it all when she couldn't change me
She couldn't change me

Arbitrage explained

Is it possible to use an ancient economic activity as a new social paradigm? To be honest, the concept of arbitrage is as simple as Buy Low, Sell High. If I can purchase an automobile for $10,000 in Boston, drive it to New York the same day and sell it for $12,000, that is arbitrage. Same item, different value depending on location. Although the definition specifically states securities, for our experiment we will use any item of value.

Investing (except for short-selling and some other tricks) truly boils down to Buy Low, Sell High. However, depending on how adept one is, it can require judgment and evaluation of several thousand possible data points to be successful. The same with what we will call Demographic Arbitrage.

The long and short is that under the new theory every person is a commodity, and posesses a certain innate value, based on their looks, status, intelligence, affluence, sex appeal, loyalty, and a thousand other traits along what could be an infinite spectrum. Some traits have a higher value in certain cultures and countries, and even among different demographics of the same country.

For example, while attractiveness is always a high-value trait, in Los Angeles, might not status, fame, or affluence be of more importance to women looking for a mate? And maybe in No-Man's-Land, Kentucky, everyone works at the same mill and thus the expectation of income is the same, making attractiveness the higher-value trait? In a certain hip Seattle neighborhood where everyone is well-to-do, maybe quickwittedness and charm are head-turning qualities, while working-class Poughkeepsie'ens puts stabilty on top. I don't know if any of these things are true, but they are most likely verifiable with a little effort.

Looking outside our own country, is it possible (or probable?) that other countries value systems are so different so as to be alien to us? Is it true that Asians possess loyalty in abundances that we cannot even comprehend? In a country where divorce is nearly non-existent, do they consider us merely permissive or worse, mortally dishonest because we toss aside our marriage vows 50% of the time we make them? Would that not give Asian women a high arbitrage value to those in other countries looking for stable, loyal and long-term or marriage-minded relationships?

I don't want to ramble too much tonight, so I will get back to how does all that matter to me (or anyone searching for something/one in particular) and my quest for a soulmate? Well, the basic principle is that perhaps my arbitrage value in Nashville might be near zero, and thus I might have above average difficulty in finding a long-term relationship. However, perhaps in Atlanta, Peking, Seoul or Mexico City, my value as a mate is higher than the locals due to male/female population differences, asset value, or other traits I don't even know I have (or don't). If that is true, I would possess what I will call positive arbitrage there.

I know this may all sound pretty silly to some, but if there is something to it, might there be some call for services that match people to different places based on their arbitrage value? We already regularly hear about marriage services in Eastern Europe, South America, Russia and others. Although most of the agencies are scams, there are many that are not, and they basically trade American lifestyle and immigration status to women for wifehood, for lack of a better term. Some might call it prostitution, but is it any different than what many cultures have done for millenia (and continue to do) with arranged marriages? Is it wrong, is it right? If both parties are willing, does it matter?

Just something to chew on. More this weekend.

Arbitrage

Yep, I didn't know what it meant either.

ar·bi·trage ( P ) Pronunciation Key (ärb-träzh) n. The purchase of securities on one market for immediate resale on another market in order to profit from a price discrepancy.

This is what my brother insists is the magic formula for dating success, and I told him I would do whatever he said just from an experimental standpoint. He wants to apply the theory of arbitrage to the whole singles culture and sell e-pamphlets and the like to get rich.

So let's see if it works, with me as the guinea pig. More later.

Match 1, Tobias 0

Okay, this is going well. Honest.

So far I have sent a dozen emails that I must have spent a combined 4 hours on, and winked at another 2 dozen ladies. (A wink is Match's way of letting you say hey, I am interested, without putting a lot of time in someone who may not be interested back) I have had around 12 winks from folks other than those I have written and winked, and one mutual wink. The one mutual of course was one I followed up with an email, which I think proceeded to sink me.;) I received one email in response to one of mine, but she was the cool girl who wasn't interested.

I must be putting off quantic anti-pheremone particles or something, but I shall persevere!

Two odd things I have noticed. The first is the inclination of women from foreign countries to wink at me; I have had one from San Paolo, Brazil, one from Guada-something, Mexico, and although not foreign, I had one from Florida this morning. Now, I am not beyond have a long-distance dating relationship with someone from 5000 miles away, but the least they could do is write.

Second, Match has totally messed html blocks. Does anyone know the code for 'carriage return?' The reason being, I spaced my whole get to know me speech out nicely...you know, in paragraphs (Those are those things Gibb told you about Saint). Of course, Match just goes and jumbles everything together. Why not make it harder on everyone to get through 2000 characters of vulnerability? Joy!

Anyone with any hints on my profile, please let me know. They don't have to be nice, but they do need to be constructive. (Email is fine, unless you just feel the need to embarrass me in public!) I am trying to get my Cali connection to give me some ideas, he has skillz.

Update: Hmm, not sure why my link isn't working, maybe some cookies are playing around on my machine to make them work for me. Trying going here, my username is tbiaslorin.

Update 2: Forgot to mention the most annoying thing of all, they won't let me use any URL's in my profile...so much for some more publicity!

I'm not sure that's the best marketing tactic

I just signed up at Match.com. Looks like a nice site, it was recommended to me by a couple friends, so I thought I'd give it a try. I think their marketing department needs to take a look at some of their stuff though.

From an email they sent:

You've just taken one of the most important steps in your love life. You now have an all access pass to our 15 million members and can start connecting with any of them right away. Plus, we'll be here for any dating tips and advice, technical issues or just good ol' moral support every step of the way. Just ask the 200,000 members who found love on Match.com last year - they were all subscribers, too!

Sure, sounds good...not.

Just some basic math. I now have access to all 15 million of their members; wow, that's awesome! However, their success rate seems to be lacking. 200,000 members found love last year. Hmm...that looks to me like a 1.3% success rate. Holy hopeless lovelife Batman! I wonder which would be more successful for me: joining Match.com or just asking out the next 76 women I meet and find attractive. Because if any one of them says yes, it will be about the same odds. It's what my brother calls 'the Law of Large Numbers as applied to dating'.

They refused my first attempt at a primary photo (I tried to use the one in the last post) because they have all sorts of rules about cropping, and full face shots and the like. So I used this one as my second attempt; good, bad, indifferent? I think I went through this once-upon-a-time with another site, first the file type was wrong, then it was too big, then it was too small, then it didn't clearly show every freckle and blemish...was ultra frustrating! At least I can use bigger photos if I choose to; each can be up to 3mb. I'm going to stick with the sizes I am using on this site so I can multi-task easier.

Good luck me!

Update: of course, badcandy has a different idea, and as she's the only girl here who has suggested something, I'll use her pick (however scary it is to think it will be out in the world).